"No way, God!" With my lack of faith, I rejected the idea God had presented to me. It made me so fearful that I told God, "This is impossible!" I'm sure you've had similar "conversations" with God. The only time in the Bible that Jesus reprimanded His followers was when He said, "Why are you fearful, oh you of little faith." (Matthew 8:26). He never scolds or condemns us. But He is disappointed when He witnesses our lack of trust in Him.
I know you're wondering, "What was the idea that she rejected so forcefully?" I think you might be with me on this one. People's number one fear is public speaking. Although I've been led to speak about Sean's miracle healing many times over the last 20 years, I've always presented the story by way of reading a typed copy. I've never spoken any other way. I always reasoned that speaking was not my gift but writing was, so after all, why should I even try a different way?
I was pretty good at reading my story. I would practice so many times in preparation that I practically had it memorized. My words would be perfect and I wouldn't forget anything. But this type of sharing had its limits. I would not be open to the Holy Spirit leading me while talking to a crowd. I would not be inviting God into my talk, I would have complete control. This is a very comfortable way to live, but not a very exciting or rewarding way.
The times I had let God take total control of a situation were few and far between. But when I did let go, miracles occurred. I feel like I experienced one of those miraculous transformations last night. And it happened because I was willing to jump across that deep valley, onto higher ground and give God control.
Several months prior I had made a commitment to speak in my friend's daughter's class. These were students who were pursuing their Master's Degree, studying to become Occupational Therapists. Since our son had experienced this type of therapy as a child, I was eager to share our story with Allison and her fellow 70 students.
As my life usually goes, many important tasks were scheduled ahead of preparing my presentation for this group. I had only a few days to prepare, and this would be my very first talk using only a slide show. Thankfully Allison came over to set the slide show foundation on my computer. I am not a tech savvy person, so her instruction was vital.
With very little time to create this slide show presentation, and even less time to practice, I realized I would leave plenty of room during my talk for the Holy Spirit to help me. It was unnerving to realize I was entering the Ballroom last night with God having more control than me. But because of my meager time constraints on preparation, I really had no other choice. I felt confident that all would go well. This is a huge leap of faith for me. To put my total trust in the Lord in the area of public speaking was literally a spiritual transformation for me!
I'm still trying to describe the experience of my talk last night. I have never laughed in a deeply joyful fashion while talking about our story. It's a heavy story. But there have been many funny and joy-filled times over the years. As I recounted our story using only the slides as my guide, humor and joy were allowed to infiltrate the words of my story. This is a first! The Spirit was definitely holding my hand!
In hindsight I know I left out some important events in our story. I will polish this presentation so it's more complete for the next time. The real transformation came in knowing that God has called me to tell this story using no notes. I love telling it through my blogs, but I have also been called to tell it in front of audiences. In the past, that is where I told God, "I will do this only if I can write it, and then just read my story."
This routine was fine for a season. But God has asked me to trust Him to travel to my next season. This one will force me to rely on Him more. When I do, everything always falls into place. Have you experienced something similar? When you step out into the unknown holding tight to God's hand, do you experience more of the abundant life Christ died to give us? He promises to give us more love, joy, hope, peace, goodness, and so much more. We just need to trust and have faith. What will your next move be? I'm hoping I'll see you jumping across that cliff to the other side to achieve more than you ever dreamed possible!
Thank you for visiting me at www.sparklinghope.net. Come see my newest page labeled "Media." I have a surprise announcement for you! See you next Friday!